**** warning**** I've come back and put this at the top b/c I realized how raw and emotional this post is. You might be offended but I don't care. I might end up deleting this post but for now I'm angry and this is me angry.
My husband got up extra early this morning to start working on the deck. A little after 8am I got THE phone call. You know which one I'm talking about. The ones that you KNOW something is wrong because no one would call you that early. It was my mom. She said "Brent OD'd but he's alive... he's in intensive care." I was suddenly wide awake. She didn't have many details. His friends had dropped him off at the ER at St. Vincents. Friends... yeah right!
After I got off the phone I laid in bed and thought about his life and all the chances he'd already been given. I thought about how much he hated his dad when he was younger but now he'd grown up to be just like him. I was angry. I laid there sobbing. I was angry at Brent and I was angry at my aunt. yeah b/c she has always just turned her head.
I got out of bed and found the number for my Brent's brother, Brock. I called him. He and I have always had some sort of bond... at least I think so. I called him... I could barely speak. I asked him if he was at the hospital, he was. I asked if Brent was going to be okay. He said "yeah, he's fine. He's up walking around and talking." I wasn't expecting to hear that. I was relieved but a little angry b/c I thought if it recovered so quickly would he really realize how close it was? Would that be enough to jolt him? This isn't the first close call with him so this probably won't be enough to straighten him out. I told Brock that I was glad he was okay but I wanted to beat his head in! We hung up shortly after that. But several times since then I've thought about calling back and talking to Brent. But I know there's nothing I can say to him that will jolt him either.
So this time he's okay. But I really feel like next time he won't be so lucky. My heart aches.
Ironically, today at noon I'm to meet up with my family (extended) at my other cousin's house for a b'day party. These people I call family make me sick. You hear of families having at least one black sheep... well my family has several. Druggies and wife beaters. I hate them. I know thats pretty stout but really... I wish I didn't but I do. I think their mothers could have done better. Yeah I said it... their mothers could have done better!! Their fathers are worthless!
1 comment:
My goodness! I know you have worried about him for a long time. I can totally understand the tears, Nicole. I have been there also. They are out of love, frustration & anger. It is infuriating to see someone continue to be given chance after chance, but yet continue to choose to waste every opportunity they are given. And one of these times, will be the last. I don't understand that kind of mind frame, do you?
I do agree someone's upbringing does play into account in their behavior, but there does come a time when that person needs to take responsibility for their own actions. Regardless if their parents turned a blind eye or not.
I just said a prayer for everyone. Call me if you need to talk.
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