I'm going to try and share something with you guys that I'm having to learn... you may or may not get it but thats okay... its really just for me :)
My reputation has always been something that has gotten me in trouble but def. something I've built on my on. I'm pretty opinionated... quick to jump the gun... always in the middle of drama... the first one to voice my thoughts... the intimidator... the one others turn to to get the job done... don't take crap from anyone... get the picture... it sounds like i'm a first class B*tch. But thats not what I want to be. I would really like for people to see the softer side of me. In my old age I think I've tried to show others the not so tough Nicole. In the last few weeks I've been called on to help others... an example... i had someone that was closing on a house (i used to be a closing secretary) and things weren't going smoothly so she asked me to call and find out what was going on and see if I could push them... so i did. There's also been other incidents where I was nominated the spokesperson b/c they knew I wouldn't back down... is that a good thing??? In some cases it can be, but very recently it back fired on me. And the reputation hurt me... instead of someone seeing that my intentions were good... they thought I was just going over their head... I really wasn't... I thought someone was jerking them around and I wasn't going to let them do it.... its a very long story and really not anyones business but those involved so i'm not going to share the details. But the point of this blog is that YOU determine how others see you and if you don't like the way others see you than you need to change. I'm really going to work on keeping my mouth shut. And instead of fueling the fire i'm going to play peacemaker. Its just not this incident that is making me feel this way... some of you might remember from Heather's blog about her trip to visit michael... she parked in a drill Srgt. spot and he got in her face and screamed.... well the other day my mother in law made the comment that if that had been me then the drill Srgt would have been picking himself off the ground... my first thought was "yeah, thats right i don't take that crap!" then it hit me... man she just pretty much said i was a first class B*tch! and thats exactly what I come across to others when I let my reputation perceed me.
What are some areas in your life that aren't so Godly that you need to work on????
7 comments:
I think honesty is the right thing in any situation, Nicole. I admire that you are able to see your flaws and are trying to correct them. Just getting married showed me I wasn't so perfect... my husband tells me all the time that I don't listen. I make a concerted effort to listen now to everything he says! I think I personally need to work on being more positive sometimes.
Now see - I don't often speak my mind - and I sometimes wish I did! I am the one who sits back and listens and keeps my comments to myself (most of the time). Once someone gets me all riled up though - look out. No more Miss Nice guy!
I wrote about this on my blog, & we talked about it too. But God is really dealing with me on ASSUMING things. When I need to just be patient & find out the facts.
Everyone has their faults & those that think that they don't...well...that's a huge fault. It takes a strong person to allow themselves to realize they need to change things about themselves & to actually make changes. I admire you for doing that. We should always be involving as Christians & letting the Lord teach & train us. And finding out the not so pretty stuff about ourselves, isn't fun, but it's worth it.
WOW! Who know blogging would be so theraputic?
Just to put in a quick comment...(probably not needed, but since I have no blog, I have to put my opinion on other peoples'...)
I really enjoyed the times that I got to see the "softer" side of you during Masters. Like some of the times we stayed at Check and Linda's in NC. The tough side can be very good...especially when you use it to defend the helpless or keep people from being fake. But I think letting the soft side out a bit more wouldn't hurt...I know it is in there. It may be more a matter of expressing it than of holding back the other comments. Just my thoughts...
EEEMMM...where to begin. I'll start by saying that being assertive isn't always a bad thing. And I love the no nonsense aproach that you have. I think God is tweaking you a bit & it's great to know that you're meeting him halfway. And up for the challenge!
As for myself, I used to be the silent/peacemaker but now I'm the roaring lion, opening my mouth too much. I'd say I need a little balance myself.
My main goal is to find the peace that has eluded me the past couple of years. I need a quiet time. I don't want to let my circumstances overrule what I know to be the truth.
Becoming a little softer is great and I think we could all become a little softer, but don't totally lose the other because it does come in handy sometimes. Don't become a DOORMAT!!!
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