I was reading up on Vicki's blog and came across her rant about Walmart and bratty children.
Here's my problem... I'm a mother of FOUR children... 11 years, 19 months and twin boys age 3 months. My oldest two are girls. The 11 year old is and has always been a great kid. The 19 month old is my wild child! And the boys are old enough to be wild. I've been afraid to take my little ones in public b/c I don't want them to get on someone's nerves.
One day when Jessica was really little we we went to Cracker Barrell after church. We were in the middle aisle (my parents, jessica and myself). On one side of us there was an older couple (70's or so). On the other side of them was a young couple with a small child (probably 10 months or so). The child was playing with a fork but she kept dropping it (the uh oh game)... finally the parents said its gone and she started crying. Well the old man said very loudly to the young couple... "thats why you don't bring kids in public!" Some other things were said but I don't remember them... I just know that that one incident has marked me for life.
I know when I go out to eat and someone's kid is crying then it bothers me b/c i paid for the atmosphere. Its one thing if the parents are trying to do something about it but its another when they're just ignoring it. And I do realize that sometimes you have to ignore the child... but I prefer that method at home when no one else has to hear it. I also know that spanking a child will only cause more tears.
When Matthew and I do go out to eat we try and pick a kid friendly place. But thats just going out to eat.... what about walmart? I prefer to go there alone anyways but sometimes we're already out and about and its easier to just run by there. Darcy is at that age where she sees something and she WANTS it. Of course we don't get it for her... we're not made of money LOL... but she pitches a fit. I spank her but like I said before that only brings more tears. So how are you supposed to handle your kids in public? Or are you supposed to take them in public?
I don't know if you guys remember me telling you about our trip to the bluegrass festival a few months back. We took all the kids to springville bluegrass festival... its a little over an hour to get there. We paid close to $20 to get in. We get there and first thing we do is eat our picnic lunch... which takes about an hour for us and the babies to eat. After we ate we started to walk around and look at all the boothes but Darcy started screaming her head off. We had no idea what was wrong with her but she wouldn't stop. People were giving us all kinds of dirty looks. We were trying to figure out what was wrong but we felt so helpless and b/c of other people's reaction we left. As soon as we got in the car we took her shoes off to make her comfy and thats when we realized that after our picnic we put her shoes back on and her little toes was caught under her other toe. She was fine after that. But we had already walked across the huge field and gotten everyone and everything loaded up so we just went home.
Also a few weeks back I had taken the little ones to the mall with me and my sister. The boys started to get fussy b/c they were hungry. On our way to the food court we got stopped by 2 sweet little old ladies. They wanted to see the boys but then when they started crying they weren't so sweet. They said "they're crying!" "yes m'am i know... they're hungry" "well feed em" "i'm trying to get to the food court so I can" "well you need to do something now" "I can't" finally we got away from them and headed to the food court where they ate and settled down.
I know this is a sensitive subject for everyone so please share your thoughts and opinions. I don't want to be a shut in just cause I have kids!
11 comments:
You absoultely DO NOT stay at home! How will they learn to behave in public if you never take them out!
The only kids that bother me are the ones that have no manners, run, yell, scream, and disobey--and the parents think it's funny! Or, they are the type of parents that think the children are in charge!
Their is no definite answer for this question...kids are kids and they are going to act up sometimes no matter how well behaved or obedient they usually are. But, parents should use common sense--try to avoid going out when the children are overly tired which is when they most often misbehave. And TRY to feed them before they get overly hungry...believe me I KNOW it is never easy to anticipate every situation that comes up. (For the last 34 years straight I have had kids in my home to care for.)
And remember...it's usually an insensitive, self-centered, old foggey that is usually doing all the rude complaining!
(no, Vickie, I'm not talking about you!! I just took a weekend trip with M and his dad. you don't know rude, hateful, and opinionated until you've been around those two!!)
Sorry...for some reason the above comment posted twice so I deleted one of them!
Just hold your head up and take those kids where ever you want to take them...as long as you know you are doing the best you can to discipline them, then what does it matter what others think.
Like me, others will be able to tell the difference between a parent that is doing their best and one who doesn't discipline at all!
I know exactly how you feel Nicole. Sometimes I get so flustered cuz my kids are acting up. I know they are good kids, they get restless sometimes, or tired or whatever. I am in the same boat as you as far as that goes. I posted on Ms. Vickie's site, but I am not sure what to do. I know that kids will be kids and anyone who has kids knows that. When I go somewhere without mine and someone has a kid acting up, I just try to tolerate it cuz I know what it is like to be there and most parents do. Kids aren't perfect and yes they need to learn how to act in public, but I am not sure how to teach that. I will be sure to keep up with what people post about this cuz it is a good question and one I can relate to.
I totally agree with Deb. There is a difference in kids being kids & undisciplined brats. You know the kind....The ones who rule the roast where their parents are concerned. I've been places where kids are running around, screaming & pushing people. That's not to be tolerated. There actually is this family I see around town alot. Normally at the library. There are 3 kids (they are over 5yrs old)) & I don't think I have ever seen a more undisciplined family in my life. They run around & yell at the library, while their Mom looks at books. No lie they even climb the shelves. It's ridiculous. The poor librarians are constantly getting on to them & the Mom just smiles & ignores. I've even told the kids to be quiet before. Well, one day I was at Wal-mart, pushing my buggy along & I hear some kids yelling from isle to isle. I thought, "I wonder if it's the brat family." Sure enough here comes running up the isle screaming at the top of thier lungs one the hoodlums. People were stopping & watching this. It went on the entire time I was there. Now that's the kind of stuff that bothers me. Kids crying & just being kids doesn't effect me. It's the ones that act like hellions that do. To me it starts at home. If your child is a brat at home, how do you expect them to be good in public? Nicole, you have good kids & don't let what others think keep you homebond.
Hey Girlfriend! Didn't mean to get you upset and thinking you needed to hybernate with your babies. Heck NO!! Take 'em to Wal-Mart and anywhere else you want to go. It's a free country and and don't let anything anyone says, even me, stop you.
The thing that I can't stand is when people come in there and just let their kids go and they are running in the store, running into people and screaming at each other from one aisle to the next.
I'm getting older and I hate buying groceries anyway, so when I go and I run into these things it makes a stressful situation an even more stressful one. These kids will run into you and their parents see it and they look at you like you were in the wrong and never say anything to the kid. I want to slap the parent and then send the kid to TIME-OUT!!! LOL
I try my best to go really late, like after midnight, hoping all the kids are at home in bed.
I think more than that is the way people will get on those cell phones and you would think they are the only person in that store the way they will stand there, block the aisle or aisles and ignore you like you don't exist or look at you like you are scum.
We need people to be more considerate and helpful. If you need to talk on the phone while shopping, find yourself a corner somewhere and not talk so loud that everybody around you has to hear your conversation whether they want to or not.
I have a cell phone/ walkie-talkie and I LOVE it. It comes in handy when you are in Wal-Mart or at the mall and you get seperated from someone, you can beep each other and find out where they are. But, don't abuse it.
Well, I guess I'm through ranting now. I'll go take my hormone and chill!! LOVE YA, Vickie!!!!
Hey Nicole! I have to say I am guilty at times of thinking "turn those kids off" when I am in a store or restaurant and there is screaming and yelling. Heck it even happened on the train the other night on my way home. It is normally because the kids are out of control and the parent(s) are just ignoring them that bothers me. The woman on the train was so busy dragging her little kid behind her she did not notice she ran her face first smack into the metal arm of a seat. The kid screamed & screamed and mom kept pulling her along like a tug toy. That was the mom's fault, not the kids'. Kids will be kids - its what they are supposed to be. So - you do your best. Go out! If they need to be disciplined, then do what works for you and your kids. Remember its a PUBLIC place. It's not like you walked into someone's house or office uninvited with your kids and started up a ruckus. My goodness annoying people come in all ages, shapes and sizes - they aren't just kids! Just take it one step at a time little momma!
First of all thank you for all of your feedback.
Second... I totally wasn't upset or offended by Vickie's post... it just brough up a very important topic in which all of you had important things to say. I obvisously am not the only mom that worries about this issue.
I agree... there's a difference between the bratts and the kids but I know sometimes kids being kids can annoy people and I guess thats where I take into consideration what Denise said "Remember its a PUBLIC place. It's not like you walked into someone's house or office uninvited with your kids and started up a ruckus. My goodness annoying people come in all ages, shapes and sizes - they aren't just kids! "
thanks again for the comments.
I am tagging you. go check my site
Okay, so as usual, I am late to weigh in, but here you go. I have two boys under three. I TRY to avoid trips to Wal-Mart or public places like grocery stores if I can help it, simply because it's a hard enough job without adding "Can I have this? I want that kind! But Mom, I want some candy!" to it. Do my boys act great all the time? No. Do I get embarrassed? Sometimes. Will it stop me from going? No. I need adult interaction sometimes, even if it's with the check-out lady at the store. And while my kids might pick on one another in the cart, if they start acting ugly, they know Momma will head to the bathroom and handle the situation. I'm no expert, just a mom trying to make it too!
Another late comment...Justus is at an all time high for bad behavior. 99% of the time it is at home but that occasional 1% in public is REALLY bad!
About a week before Ezekiel was born we were at Walmart & had to stay longer b/c of a downpour. He lost his car somewhere in a aisle. And totally went bonkers screaming that he wanted his car & to go outside.
I got some looks. Mainly- that poor momma. I think people were more tolerant b/c I was pregnant. Wonder what looks I would get today.
I just ignore others who don't have compassion. I know my child & my limits. Just b/c kids know the rules doesn't mean they're not going to test them from time to time. Or in my case often.
Yes, there are brats. And I sometimes include J in that group. But mainly when I've had enough of trying everything I can think of. Most of the time he is my angel.
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